Fear Parties as Anxiety Treatment
A few months ago I spoke at an anxiety seminar that was presented by a psychologist who spoke about “fear parties”. I liked the idea so much that I dedicated my session at a recent local school day to using this technique for dealing with children’s fears and anxieties.
One of the teachers also hooked up on the concept, and between us we conducted a “fear party” with her class. Here’s what she wrote me recently on the outcome – some very interesting reading…
Several of my children were defiant of authority. One of the boys certainly seemed headed for juvenile delinquency.
Another was such a neurotic that the principal had asked his mother to send him to a school psychiatrist. So one afternoon I told the class we’d have a new kind of party. It was to be a “Fear Party”.
Then I explained how I had been petrified with terror when I was a 4th grader because I had a dread of spiders. I’d grow hysterical and almost faint if a spider came near me.
I was far worse than Miss Muffet of the nursery rhyme story. And when my brothers learned about my severe panic, they’d deliberately add to my fright.
It wasn’t till I was in college that I finally learned to respect spiders as friendly creatures that catch the dangerous houseflies which pollute our food with germs.
And I also learned that spiders, even the Black Widow, don’t do any more harm if they ever bite you, than does a honeybee when it stings you.
But for 10 years my life was miserable because of my terror.
Weil, after I had made my own confession, I casually asked my pupils if any of them had any secret fears that now bothered them.
Two girls immediately raised their hands and told us about their phobias. Then a little boy joined in and soon the entire class found that it was fashionable to admit their secret terrors, so we had what psychiatrists would describe as a group emotional catharsis.
Next day I noticed a remarkable improvement in my pupils. They were far more cooperative. In fact, the boy who had been a little rebel, seemed entirely changed.
And the youngster who had been so neurotic began to act relaxed and happy. At our next PTA meeting, his mother wanted to know what I had done to her son, for she felt a miracle had occurred.
Apparently, the act of letting children confess their secret dreads reduces the internal tension, doesn’t it?
And several of the children later confided to me in private that they had never realized that the other pupils also were afraid of things.
They had all imagined that they, alone, were the “fraidy cats”. So they now were much, more reassured to learn they were not freaks.”
So What Are “Fear Parties”
Fear parties do good at any age – so they should also be scheduled in high school and college, and in particular anxiety support groups.
Alcoholics Anonymous derives much of its effectiveness from what really amounts to a “Fear Party” each week.
The act of confessing any fear in words reduces the inner tensions which that fear formerly created.
And when we learn that our problems are matched in the lives of others, we feel less abnormal. Besides, such confessionals often lead to helpful ideas for solving our troubles.
